Ravage is stalking my mouse.

Get it? He's stalking my MOUSE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shut up, there are worse puns.

Seriosuly though, RotF Ravage is awesome. Expect a review.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen MOVIE REVIEW!

Okay, first off, I know that many of you have not seen this movie yet for various reasons. So, here's what I'm going to do. First up, I'll have a basic review. Technical stuff, my overall opinion, non spoilerific things. Then, after ample warning and a bit of a gap, I'll talk about anything with spoilers. If you haven't seen RotF, skip that stuff, AND GO SEE IT RIGHT AWAY.

It all started upon my arrival in the theater. There were so many people there, I had to wait until the 12:11 showing, instead of 12:01. There were other showings as well. They all pretty much sold out. So, I walk in, with my chili cheese nachos and Coke float, and I was surprised to find that they had put in leather seats! Comfy! Then I discovered that a good friend of mine was there as well. I didn't even know he was in town. Finally, before I get on with talking about the movie, during the trailers there was a Twilight preview, and I yelled out something along the lines of "VAMPIRES DON'T FUCKING SPARKLE!", causing the young woman in front of me to turn around and glare at me. All this meant I was in a jolly mood, and felt that my $9.50 was already well spent.

Okay, here's the shit you actually want to read.

Now, the movie hasn't done well with the "professional" critics, at least according to Rotten Tomatoes. But here's a secret. "Pro" critics are dumbasses when it comes to this sort of movie. They don't want robots beating the holy shit out of each other. They want giant robots talking about their feelings, or some shit like that. No, this movie isn't for them. It's for us. The normal people. The nerds. The TransFans.

So, how does it do? Well, I'll start with the looks of the movie. Visual effects are Michael Bay's trademark. And they're just as great, if not better, than the first movie. The robots looked real, the fights were epic, and there were explosions. Lots and lots of explosions. The camera work was Bay's usual style. Always moving, with something always happening in front of them. I've always liked this, but it did get a bit dizzying at one point, as it spun and spun and spun around Sam and Mikaela.

Speaking of them, they were both much better in this one. Not only has Megan Fox's acting improved (Making me somehow want to look at here even more!), but their characters were more fleshed out. All the humans were, Sam's parents, Leo, Sam's roommate, Epps and Lennox, even... Well, that's a spoiler, so you'll have to wait. It was the same with most of the robots. All of the returning characters had much more personality. Megatron was VERY evil and cunning. Starscream was a treacherous coward. Optimus was, well, Optimus. And so on. Except for Ratchet. Seriously,. he got shafted. I think he maybe got one line, and he was completely absent for the first part of the movie. Even when... Oops, almost said another spoiler. The new bots were kinda half and half. Other than The Fallen, most of the new 'Cons were just there. The Constructicons were almost drone like, and Devastator was more or less an animal, though he's really always been that way. Sideways didn't even get a chance. Amongst the 'Bots, Sideswipe showed some character, but not much. The Twins, however, got a lot of focus. I thought they would be annoying, but they were hilarious.Then there's Jetfire and Wheelie, who aren't really in a faction. They were both enjoyable. Jetfire was funny, and I rather liked him. He was, of course, old, and falling apart. Wheelie was, incredibly surprisingly, NOT ANNOYING! He didn't rhyme once! I actually liked him! WTF?!

Finally, the story. I t was much deeper this time. The story was entertaining and engaging. The writing and actors went together great. I felt for the characters. I shared their hope. Their despair. Why the fuck am I getting so deep here? Just still amped up, I guess. Anyways, throughout most of the movie, I was leaning forward in my seat.

Overall, I loved it. I'll probably see it again tomorrow.

SPOILER ALERT. AFTER THE FOLLOWING GAP, THERE ARE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING SECTION UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE.














SPOILER ALERT. THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS.

Okay. The whole movie was FILLED with Transformers references. Optimus actually died, in an epic fight with Megatron, near the beginning of the movie. Just like in '86. BUT! He was brought back! Again, just like... every other time an Optimus has died. Guess what brought him back? THE SLAGGING MATRIX OF LEADERSHIP. FUCK. YES. It only shared a passing physical resemblance to the G1 Matrix, but it functioned similarly. At one point after Sam temporarily died, he actually had visions of long gone Cybertronian leaders, within the MAtrix. There was also some references to the idea of a group of original Transformers (The aforementioned dead leaders). However, this time it was 7, not 13 or one.

Energon played a major role. It was actually the entire reason the Fallen and other 'Cons were on Earth. Basically, it was the power within the AllSpark, and could be created by devouring the power of a sun with a special machine, activated by the Matrix. The Fallen wasnted to use this on a world with life, which is why he broke off from the other Primes (Those old leaders), becoming The Fallen.

Ravage, he was perfect. Not only were his weapon on his hips, but he was used to infiltrate a human base. He generally spyed on everyone, like Ravage has always done. He had a good death, being torn in half by 'Bee (Wgo I love even more after what he did to get rid of "Alice"). Soundwave though, I was kind of disappointed with. His voice lacked a lot of the magic, I liked it, but it was too deep, and lacked the musical quality of G1. And he never converted into robot mode. What the fuck is up with that?

Lastly, a few incidentals. Simmons (The main Sector 7 agent from the first movie) returned, but this time he was a hero. John Turturro was just as quirky and funny as before. The weird Decepticon infiltrator/Terminator like... thing named "Alice" was fucking nightmare fuel. Soooo creepy. Same with "The Doctor". The appliance bots given life by the AllSpark shard were a nice bit. Finally, repaints definitely exist in the movie universe. A lot of 'Cons shared body types, even with guys from the first movie.

END OF SPOILERS.














THE SPOILERS ARE OVER. YOU MAY RESUME READING IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE.

So, my final conclusion is this: If you dislike this film, you suck. You're not a real TransFan. There were plenty of G1 references, and every complaint I've heard about the first movie was fixed. You just need to accept change. If you can accept change, and you're a TransFan, go see the movie right away. If you want an enjoyable 3 hours, go see it.

Basically, if you're alive, go see it.

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Soundwave

Ahh, Soundwave. In G1 many of his fans (AKA everyone who watched Transformers) loved him partly for his voice. That oddly musical electronic hum. It was soothing, and yet epically awesome. This, and his all around coolness, made him a fan favorite (As proof, he was chosen ina poll on Rooster Teeth.com as my first RotF review He won unanimously). And now he's in the new movie! WITH THE SAME VOICE ACTOR (Frank Welker) THAT HE HAD IN G1!

WOOOOOOO!

And, thus, we get a toy of him.

In G1 Soundwave was a mini-cassette tape recorder. Not a tape player like everyone thinks. M'kay? This has made him particularly hard to update. No one uses cassettes anymore. Plus, he went from a tiny alt mode to a big-ass robot through a process known as "Mass Shifting" (Megatron also used it, as he turned into a gun), which Hastak has been phasing out recently. However, the movie makers had a great idea. Let's make him a communications satellite! It has the same sort of communications based function as G1 Soundwave, and it references his ability (At least in the comics. I don't know if he used this in the cartoon) to read the minds of other Cybertronians. His satellite mode looks nice, and the various parts fit together well without many visible breaks where his body parts fit together. The translucent blue plastic is nicely distributed, and parts of those panel things on him look like solar cells.
BUT WAIT! There's more! Sort of.

You can rearrange bits of his alt mode (The panels on the back, side wings, and spiky things on the side) to make a spaceship "mode" that looks a hell of a lot like his satellite mode. This is somehow enough for Hasbro to call him a Triple Changer (Despite the movie makers not wanting to introduce Triple Changers until the next movie. It's always supposed to be Combiners THEN Triple Changers guy! Well, other than Animated...), but he's really more of a "Two-and-a-half Changer". So, yeah.

Converting him to robot mode is moderately easy. About what you would expect from a Deluxe. He has the typical movie details all over the place. His face is awesome. In G1 the Decepticon symbol was actually a stylized version of Soundwave's head (Some Transfans believe he was originally going to be the 'Con leader, while Prowl would have been the Autobot leader, as their symbol looked like him) and RotF Soundwave's face looks like the 'Con symbol. He's still got the visor eyes, crest, and pointy bits, but it's more angular and inhuman, like the other movie 'Cons. His paint is nice. Though he's mostly gray, he's got a bit of blue, evoking his G1 paint, and the translucent blue bits are still great.

He moves at the neck, shoulders, and hips (Balljoints), knees and double elbows (Hinges), and biceps, ankles, and toes (Swivels). His various flaps and stuff are also jointed, so you can pose them how you like. His elbows are odd though. Due to his transformation, when you put his arms down naturally, with his fists sideways, his elbows bend inward. He has bicep swivels so you can bend his arms normally, but wrist joints would have helped.

His only accessory is a missile. It's supposed to be shaped like Ravage's "Entry mode", and fires out of a launcher on his back. It's forgettable and I didn't even take a picture of it.

Overall, Soundwave is a very nice toy. Not my favorite, and he has a few small issues, but he's a serviceable update of an old favorite, and I heartily recomend him to any fan. There will also be a store exclusive repaint in his G1 colors, but that will only be available in a tow pack with the first movie Voyager Megatron. Not really worth it if you ask me.

Bionicle: Glatorian Skrall review

Hey everybody! Darth Shadow is back, and he's doing his first actual toy review.

Why I was speaking in the 3rd person back there, I have no idea. But enough of my insanity.

Behold, the mighty Skrall!

The Skrall is my first experience with the new Glatorian sets from the new BIONICLE storyline.

The Skrall are actually their own species, and originally did not live in their current home of Roxtus. They only moved there when their original home was attacked by the Baterra, who are mysterious, shape shifters that strike from the shadows. For some reason, that sounds really familiar.

The Skrall has some new features with the rest of the Glatorian. First off, actual hands! Now the Glatorian actually look like they are holding something and not giving you the bird. You can also do this:

They also now have real face, too. And I don't mean those heads that came with the Toa with just a hole for a mouth. They actually have real faces this time. But those faces look really familiar. Now where have I seen them before....?

(Sorry about the quality of this picture. It was the best I was going to get of the Glatorian face. )

And then there's the Life Counter for the Glatorian Battle game. I haven't played it, but it seems rather pathetic to me. Why not come out with another trading card game? The Skrall's Life Counter happens to be on his foot, which makes things awkward.

Now onto the Skrall's weapons. First off, there's his sword. Nothing to really talk about there.

Then there's his shield. The shield actually does spin like a buzz saw, which I imagine would be devastating in battle.

Then there is the new projectile weapon, the Spiked Thornax launcher. These guys actually get pretty far when you launch them. However, in the Skrall's case, the launcher is attached to his sword, which makes aiming rather awkward.

So there you have it. The new bad-ass villian from Bionicle. I recommend that you buy a Skrall set. NOW.

Darth_Shadow, out.

Disclaimer: I wish to say that the Baterra are not the Makuta. If you want to think that, go ahead and do so. I only did that reference as a joke, and I have no knowledge that the Makuta will even be involved in the Glatorian story line. Srsly.

New Transformers M&M's are out!

I just got these new M&Ms packs:



The plain packs have "Chocl-O-Bots" (Autobots) while the peanut packs have "Delect-O-Cons" (Decepticons). I have not found the Skids and Mudflap "Strawberried Peanut Butter" M&Ms, but a source says "Those will be released when the movie actually comes out", and "They are amazing."

Transformers 25th birthday special commemorative review: WRECK-GAR!!!

(Click the badge for more TF25th birthday blogs!)
Okay, this is a bit later than I said. Cut me some slack. I was busy, okay? (That's such a lie. I was asleep on the couch.) Shut up. (No.) Jerk.

Anyways, FREAKING WRECK-GAR YEAH! I've got pics, I'm listening Dare to be Stupid (The album, with the most awesome song of awesome, Dare to be Stupid), and, of course, it's a special day in TF history. SO LET'S DO THIS!


As you can see, Wreck-Gar's alt mode is a motorcycle. It has a rather random color scheme and isn't the most sporty looking bike, but remember, they're called Junkions for a reason. Still it looks nice, with no incredibly obvious robot bits, a bit of a rarity for motorcycle TFs. Well, maybe his feet and hands are kind of obvious, but too much.
His legs end up on the side of his motorcycle, looking like some sort of running boards. This also makes him pretty wide.


All in all though, he's got a nice satisfying alt mode. What about robot mode? Well, his conversion is pretty easy. He is a G1 toy, after all.

Wreck-Gar's robot mode has a very G1 body. Rather blocky, and all that. The sculpt is simple, but with some nice details thrown in. Because the unsculpted details were done with stickers back then (My Wreck-Gar, which I got used, is missing a lot of them, but I do plan on ordering the Reprolabels set for him), pretty much everything is molded in color. The only paint is on his metal shoulder pad thing (Metal parts are one of the things they no longer use anymore, like rubber tires) and face. All the toys based on new movie characters were designed before the character models were finalized. This is why Wreck-Gar looks different from the cartoon. This is also why he lacks his awesome mustache and goatee. =( He also has red eyes. Toy Wreck-Gar (Who was billed as a Decepticon in the commercials) must be from before Kup and Hot Rod showed up and managed to save the day instead of messing everything up like Hot Rod usually did. You see, the Junkions thought the Autobots were invaders, so they attacked to protect their home, nearly kicking the Autobot's asses. While Dare to be Stupid played in the background and Wreck-Gar, voiced by Eric Idle, said silly things. Then, after the universal greeting had been delivered, a Junkion kissed Grimlock ( =D ) and everyone danced to Dare to be Stupid. It was awesome.


Wreck-Gar is slightly above average in terms of articulation for a G1 toy. Yes, his legs are bricks below the hips, which only move forward (It looks like he has knees, but they bend backwards so he can convert), but his arms. His arms are great. They have some of the first ever balljoints on a Transformer, along with hinge elbows and swivel wrists. His arms are basically as articulated as a modern TF.

Wreck-Gar's accessories are his awesome ax, a "Decelerator Laser" gun, and his shield, which is really his front tire. While there's no real place to store his weapons in motorcycle mode, you can place them in his hands for a sort of attack mode.
The ax and shield were what he mainly used in the cartoon, so they're obviously the most classic weapons, but the gun is also nice. Wreck-Gar was deadly with that ax. He nearly beat the crap out of Springer (Who's known as a great swordsman) with it. Then Daniel had to screw things up.

There's really not much more to say. Other than some limitations due to his age, Wreck-Gar is basically perfect. Easily my favorite toy in my collection. In the picture above, you can see how Transformers have evolved in their 25 years. Then, and now. Here's to another 25 years!

~Raw/Monty


Wreck-Gar (G1): "Whatta beaut!"
Wreck-Gar (Animated): "I am Wreck-Gar! This is the best part!"
Shhh. I'm trying to watch.

25 years of awesome robots, great stories (Well, other than RiD), and a lot of fun.

Today, May 8, 2009, marks a great day in history. Why? Well, exactly 25 years ago today, Transformers #1 was published and shipped out by Marvel comics.

That was the first anyone was really introduced to Transformers, so it's Transformers 25th birthday!

I think a song is in order here.


I'll post a commemorative review this afternoon.